I Tried to Clone My Willy. Here’s What Happened
Jun 23, · I heard about Clone-A-Willy, an in-home penis replication kit, a few months back in a podcast commercial. It sounded absurd and awkward. The idea of . Procedure. Mix one of the two supplied Impression Material with. water for only 45 seconds and pour into Casting Sleeve. Place Casting sleeve over your penis. By moving the casting sleeve up, down left and right you can center yourself to get a good impression. The 3" wide casting sleeve gives you plenty of material on around your member, keeping you from touching the sides.
At least it came from a heartfelt place. At least I wouldn't be venturing into uncharted territory alone.
Google, we can't thank you enough. But wait! There's more! Your penis can be cast in one of these vibrant hues: light, deep, hot pink, jet black, and neon purple. Fancy a glow-in-the dark replica? That's available, too. The kit comes in a long, slender, plastic tube, and inside are: a cheap vibrator, a bag of molding powder, a small thermometer, a balsa wood stick, and two jars of how to create web page layout gel.
Mix those gels together and that's what you'll pour to create the finished mold. You'll need some extra tools not supplied in the tube. First, mix the molding powder with water. Next, pour the mixture into the tube and insert your erect penis. Three, pull away the mold and fill it with silicone. Lastly, slide out an exact copy of your penis. Easy, how to get license back after dui in florida My fantastic confidence in this endeavor and product waned considerably when I unfurled the poster-size directions.
The four simple steps had transformed into more than a dozen, and the incredible specificity of each step had me in an immediate state of panic. For example, the molding powder must be mixed with water that is exactly 90 degrees Fahrenheit. What happens if it's 89 or 91 degrees? You must mix the powder and degree water for exactly 45 seconds, then pour the mixture into the tube as quickly as possible.
You then must hasten to shove your erect penis into the mixture "immediately," carefully avoiding touching the sides of tube. The tone of the directions—lighthearted and humorous—outline a process that required careful, diligent planning. Not great, Bob. Turns out, I was mentally and physically unprepared to clone my willy.
Able to get all the nitty gritty of the temperatures and volumes of mixtures right, I hastily cued up some porn for inspiration. Yet, it was all overwhelming, and as I stood in my bathroom, nude, holding a mixing bowl and a cut-to-length penis tube, my spirit slowly deflated.
Next to wither: my erection. He, too, struggled with the molding mixture, and his curved penis kept touching the sides of the tube.
I need your help, my love. The biggest takeaway I can give you is that the Clone-A-Willy kit requires a partner, there to facilitate the process and provide support, both physically and emotionally. Buy It Now. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Actor Lewis Tan on 'Mortal Kombat'.
The Truth About the Mono Diet. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses.
You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Here's What Happened.
Enter the Clone-A-Willy Kit
Jun 18, · As usual there is no joke. You can make your own penis replica or your lover’s penis. The solution is based on a molding gel. The procedure is straight forward and easy. You prepare the molding gel. You insert your penis in the modling tube. You put the rubber into the mould. You wait 24 hours and you have a dildo that is your own penis replica.
It was said that Helen of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships. It was so beautiful, so rare, so desirable, that it was worth going to war over. My last boyfriend's dick was sort of like that. It was one of those penises you encounter and know you may never see another like it again: perfectly proportioned, impressively rigid, huge, but not terrifyingly so. While I wasn't tempted to invade neighboring countries over it, you can bet I dreamed of cloning it so when he was out of town or our relationship met its eventual and inevitable demise, I would have one hell of a backup plan.
Enter Clone-A-Willy. I heard about Clone-A-Willy, an in-home penis replication kit, a few months back in a podcast commercial. It sounded absurd and awkward. The idea of asking a lover to supply the cloneable goods struck me as potentially one of the most easily derailed conversations of all time.
I imagined a Clone-A-Willy kit would make an excellent gag gift for one of my girlfriends, but when one of them joked I should write an article about it, well, it felt like the best idea I'd ever heard.
After all, my boyfriend had an impeccable dick. I didn't love the idea of asking him to do it, but the side of me that found the whole thing amusing AF won out in the end. For weeks, I waited for the right moment to ask. It's baffling, really. Finally, one morning after a particularly great night together, as he was standing naked next to my bed in all of his salt-and-peppered, six-packed, well-hung glory, I floated the idea to him.
We'd make a dildo using him as the model A bashful smile spread across his face, he hesitated, and then he said, "Yeah, OK. Sounds fun. I'm flattered. Ordering a kit to make a carbon copy of another person's body part for my own pleasure evoked mountains of inner conflict. It was literal objectification. He was consenting, it was meant to be fun, he was flattered, but still.
I was turning part of him into an object. It felt a little icky. Was I failing as a feminist? I wondered if Hugh Hefner ever felt this way. Then I couldn't believe I was drawing a parallel between Hugh Hefner and myself. Who am I? I decided then and there to use the money to do something for my boyfriend. Guilt assuaged, I carried on. Choosing features was easy: no to glow in the dark, yes to vibrating; choosing the color, not so much. There were garish neons why, god?
The features I wanted narrowed down the selection. I imagined he wouldn't want it to be hot pink—and I'm not much for pink anyway.
Neon green was possible, but I couldn't imagine putting an opaque silicone penis—the color of my third-grade slap bracelets—in my vag. So I ended up choosing a flesh tone reminiscent of a peachy crayon. In real life, it's even uglier than you think. The next time my boyfriend came over, we opened the box and looked at the contents. One thing was clear: We weren't making a Lelo-grade product here. We spread the components across my bed and he grabbed the flimsy clear plastic tube meant for housing the mold.
We were supposed to measure it, cut it to the correct length, and then proceed. Cutting it with scissors was sure to leave sharp edges, and as anyone who's ever accidentally slipped some tooth during a blow job will tell you, sharp edges and penises are a terribly bad mix. We bandied some fixes about, then moved on to the other parts: molding powder, silicone, a thermometer, and a motor. There were several steps involved in the process. Measuring, mixing, curing.
He looked at me skeptically. The performance anxiety was creeping across his shy face. I offered different options for helping things go well: porn, sex acts, dirty talk, a striptease, but all that accomplished was a perfectly good erection being used for some actual sex. Some people and their priorities. Afterward, lying amidst the components of our aborted project, we laughed about the "failure" and vowed to try again next weekend.
We would not be distracted. I gathered the pieces, shoved them back in the box, and stashed it under my bed. Next time. Our next few interactions didn't take us back to my place and then a few weeks later, my boyfriend disappeared. I don't mean in the form-a-search-party way, just in the turns-out-he's-a-massive-coward way.
That bastard ghosted me, and he took my dreams of having a replica of his cock in my nightstand with him. Before you ask: No, it wasn't because of the dick-cloning. He was about that life. It's hard to be mad, though. As much as I enjoyed his girth and length and the idea of having the world's best screwvenir, I imagine few things would kill my lady boner like pulling out a plastic shrine to what ended up being the second-biggest dick in that relationship.
And so, the Clone-A-Willy sits in the back of my closet, a great metaphor for the unfinished business between the perfect-penised man and me. One day I'll likely throw it away, because how do you ask someone to be your second choice for a vibrator model? But for now, it serves as a great reminder that perfect penises always come at a cost —and it's usually someone's dignity.
Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Spicy Chocolate-Dipped Clementines Recipes. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sex.
<- How to configure leased line - How to get out of check systems->